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25.7.10

Redundant Pitches #10

This one's about five years old. It was going to be a commentary on the creative bankruptcy of continually updating characters out of the context in which they made sense, which makes it at least one level more arch and knowing than Moffat's version. Which I shall of course be watching, nevertheless...

ULTIMATE SHERLOCK HOLMES
#1: FOUR COLOR PROFILE

Page 1
Splash page. Three stealth bombers fly towards the reader, high above a desolate mountainous wasteland.
Caption: TORA BORA, AFGHANISTAN
Lead Pilot (jagged): Target acquired. ETA 90 seconds.

Page 2-3
Establishing shot spread across both pages, with a few smaller panels beneath. A US military recon squad is pinned down at some abandoned farm buildings by firing from across the canyon. The officer acknowledges the message from air support, and they hunker down. Last panel: missiles fly from one of the bombers.

Page 4
Splash page. Huge explosion.

Page 5
Six panels. As the dust clears, it becomes evident that the bombers have hit the farm complex as well as the enemy position. Several of the soldiers are dead; one rages impotently at the sky; another yells to the CO that one of the fallen men is still breathing -- the CO shouts "Get that medic over here!", only to be told that it is the medic. Last panel, we see the wounded man's nametape: Lt. Watson, J.

Page 6
Splash page showing New York City from above.
Caption: NEW YORK CITY, EIGHTEEN MONTHS LATER.

Page 7
Watson gets out of a cab at the offices of Hudson Security Inc, and introduces himself to the receptionist. He's come for a job interview.

Pages 8-14
Watson's job interview is an infodump for the reader. We learn that Hudson Security is a private contractor with government connections - some of Watson's old army buddies are working for it "back over there" on salaries way higher than if they'd stayed in the service, but Watson himself is too badly injured: he's got an artificial lung and pins in several limbs. However, the job he's applied for is based right here in New York, doing mostly forensic medicine: Hudson has acquired contracts to provide criminal investigation services to the NYPD and DHS. The scene ends inconclusively: they'll be in touch.

Pages 15-17
Reserved for introduction of ongoing subplot.

Pages 18-19
Six weeks later, Watson is back at the Hudson building: it's his first day on the job. 'Is 'andler, Jaq Lestrade, an ex-FBI agent wiz a ludicrous Chris Claremont Cajun accent, shows 'im round ze office and introduces him to his lab partner: a 22-year-old dreadlocked black guy called Sherlock Holmes, first encountered doing something unspeakable to a corpse (possibly using a virtual reality suit - nah, not gruesome enough) to see if the results match another one that's already on the slab. Their initial exchange goes something like -
Lestrade: Doctor Watson, meet Sherlock 'Olmes.
Watson: ...
Holmes: Watson, yo. You ex-army, right? Afghanistan?
Watson: That's right. How..?

Page 20
Holmes: Dog, your resume's on the company mainframe. You think I don't check out who I'm gonna be workin' with? Oh Jaq, I got an ID for your Spanish Harlem killer. DNA matched a DUI from two years ago - Anthony Seldon. Got an address on 110th, but I wanted to make sure he was there before I sent the bulls in guns blazing, so I tracked his cellphone on GPS.
Lestrade: Zat is not your responsibility, Sherlock...

Page 21
Using a combination of GPS, CCTV license plate recognition and the nearest beat cop, Holmes gets Selden arrested at traffic lights.

Page 22
Splash page, p.o.v. as if we're inside the computer screen. Holmes looking straight at us, hands behind his head, grinning. Watson and Lestrade standing behind him.
Holmes: What you think then, Doc? Am I good?

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